45 posts tagged “fun”

A Company decides to adopt Fridays as Casual Day and they issued a Memo to all department intimating the same.

Week 1

Memo 1: Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual attire of their choice.

Week 3

Memo 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day.

Week 6

Memo 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude.

Week 8

Memo 4: A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. A fashion show will follow. Attendance is mandatory.

Week 9

Memo No. 5: As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper casual-day dress.

Week 14

Memo 6: The Casual Day Task Force has distributed a 30-page manual entitled "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards." A copy has been distributed to every employee.

Week 18

Memo 7: Company is providing psychological counseling for employees who may be having difficulty adjusting to Casual Day.

Week 20

Memo 8: We are no longer able to effectively support or manage Casual Day. Casual Day is discontinued

This one is good from FFO

We have 3 stupid stages of life………..

 

 

Teen age:

Have Time + Energy …but No Money

Working Age:

 

Have Money + Energy …but No Time

Old age:

 

Have Time + Money …but no Energy

Just wanted to put a smile on your face...........




BOY : May I hold your hand?

GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.


GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!

BOY : You love me...


GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??

BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??


GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.

BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple



GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.

BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??



BOY : I love you and I could die for you!

GIRL : How soon??



BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!

GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??



SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning

kiss??

TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the

cigarette out of his mouth.



MAN : You remind me of the sea.

WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?

MAN : NO, because you make me sick.



WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear

and comes out of the other.

HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both

ears and comes out of the mouth.




MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andrew says I'm ugly.What

do u think,

Peter?

PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.




1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and

no one else ?"

Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again

yesterday".



2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun

or the moon?"

Pupil : "The moon".

Teacher : "Why?"

Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need

it but the sun gives us light only in the day time

when we don't need it".




3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on

talking when people are no longer interested?"

Pupil : "A teacher".




4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"

Customer : "What other colors do you have?"




5) My father is so old that when he was in school,

history was called current affairs.




6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"

Sam : "It's a family tradition".

Teacher : "What do you mean?"

Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father

is a teacher".

Teacher : "What about your mother?"

Sam : "She's a woman".




7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father

that I've failed?"

David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,

past year's performance repeated".




8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a

donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be

showing?"

Student : "Brotherly love".




9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say

prayers before eating?"

Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good

cook".




10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering

doctor?"

Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show

that nine out of ten people die of the disease you

have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others

all died".




11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of

COINCIDENCE? "

One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married

on the same day and at the same time."




12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped

down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.

Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"

One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

Fourth Place :

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast,
I know you'll forgive me.'
She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Third Place :
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Runner Up:
Bill worked in a pickle factory. 
He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day
to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. 
He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. 
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed.  He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife co uld see at once that something was seriously wrong.
'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.
'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?'
'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.
'Yes, I did.' he replied.

'My God, Bill, what20happened? '

'I got fired.'
'No, Bill.  I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?'
'Oh...she got fired too.'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Winner:
A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.'
'I know,' the old man said.  'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.'
'Well,' Granny snickered.  'Let's relive some old times.'
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly r eplied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'
'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps.   'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal
============ ========= ========= ========= ========


Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

Somebody sent this to me.. I thought this one is good...

One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Norman $hah



The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:

Dear NOrman

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Is this true?....



Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.



Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.



Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.



Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.



Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.


Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac .



Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.


Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.



Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.



Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".


Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"


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***

Most men will get this right!


Q:   You are driving along a narrow two lane road with a NO PASSING sign posted,   and you come upon a bicycle rider.   Do you:

(a) Follow this slow-moving bicycle rider for the next 2 miles, or

(b) Do you break the law and pass?

Which is the correct choice?

Scroll down... 




IT'S ONLY FOR TWO MILES, WHAT IF SHE FALLS.

If a barber makes a mistake,



If a driver makes a mistake,

It is a
New path

If aN engineer makes a mistake,


If parents makes a mistake,



If a politician makes a mistake,



If a scientist makes a mistake,



If a tailor makes a mistake,



If a teacher makes a mistake ,


If our boss makes a mistake,

It is a
New idea

If an employee makes a mistake,

It is a
  Mistake Only